Happies Activate # 1 - "Thr..mufns...n'..chlt..br..."

I am not new to the world of dieting. The dream of a small, healthy, bikini-fit me has eluded me ever since I stopped playing with My Little ponies and realized how incredibly awesome food was. 

 Well, every once in a while I realize that I'm twenty years old and I'm wasting my young, healthy years being overweight and not feeling attractice. I get it in my mind that I'll be the next hot thing! I'll wear cute clothes! I'll look good in jans! I'll wear a bikini to the beach and roll around in my sandy victory!

 So I set off to walmart with the mindset that i'll suddenly learn to love salad and bow at the feet of pita bread. Aaaand while i'm at it, I'll get a chocolate bar. It will be my treat for when I'm good.

 Wrong. I look in the fridge and my bagged salad is staring back at me saying "It's not fair, is it? It's not fair that you can eat as much of me as you want, but I don't taste good, but that chocolate bar will ruin your dreams" 

Stupid patronizing salad. I slam the fridge shut and go to the freezer where I keep my chcolate bar. If...I only eat a small piece, it'll be fine.

 Sure, Davy. Have you ever eaten a small piece of a chocolate bar? No. 

I ate the whole chocolate bar. So now I'm irritated at myself. I know I can't keep up that kind of thing unless I'm happy the way I am.  

 I decide to go to Safeway and get some "inbetween" groceries. The kind that tastes better than salad, but is better for me than a whole chocolate bar. 

 I'm browsing the aisles and suddenly, like an epiphany, shining like diamonds on their bakery rack, I see  package of almond poppyseed muffins. Sweet, sweet almond poppyseed muffins.  With my empty cart, I race toward the bakery as if it's on fire, and if I don't get there in time, I'll never have another muffin as long as I live. 

 I place the muffins in my cart and simply check out, thinking that I don't need anything else in the entire world. 

I ate three muffins. THREE MUFFINS. I still don't understand how i managed to eat three entire muffins. I don't even remember eating three muffins. But when I woke up the next day craving am uffin for breakfast, there was only one left.

 I ate that muffin too, then headed to the computer to enter my food log for the previous day. 

  I looked up how much my muffins cost me and was horrified to find that muffins were not the healthier cupcake alternative I had thought them to be. 700 calories. Per muffin. 

My day had consisted of three mufins and a chocolate bar. Imagine repeating that to your friends. "So what'd you eat today?"

 

........

 

You mumble as you glance around. "thr..mufns...n'..chlt...br..."

"What?"

"Three muffins and a chocolate bar..."

 

It makes you cringe to think about it!

 

Today I had a salad.